I Want a New Drug

This is funny. (3MB wmv)

Miracle in Guadalupe

Does anyone know if this is true?

A Cool Comercial

Christina, thanks for posting this.

A better idea for alley cats. :)

Ads on METRO #11: Alley Cats

I saw an add for an organization dedicated to saving the lives of alley cats. Their mission:

Alley Cat Allies is dedicated to advocating for nonlethal methods to reduce outdoor cat populations.

They document the following travesty:

More cats are intentionally killed in the United States than die from any other documented cause.

Who is responsible? The vast majority of these killings are perpetrated not by cruel individuals, but by and with the authority of an antiquated animal control system. These killings are performed by government employees and contractors, and spill over to private shelter employees.

Oh the horror! Those poor homeless cats who otherwise would be living fruitful lives dumpster diving, screaming at two in the morning and leaving their urine and feces everywhere, are humanely and mercifully put to sleep. Yes, we must all rally together to save them! Good riddance.

I have a particular disdain for homeless cats. I had no less than fourteen of them living under my house for almost two years. My next door neighbor fed them, and we could not trap them fast enough to keep their population down.

I suppose if people want to spend their money capturing alley cats, neutering them, vaccinating them, and releasing them back into "the wild," then that is their choice. I can think of better ways to spend my money. Using twenty dollar bills to pick up the poop these cats leave behind would be money better spent.

Cualquier Incapacidad Puede ser Superada

Proof that anyone can learn to salsa. (3 MB wmv)

Please Pray for my Aunt

She goes into surgery tomorrow for ovarian cancer. Might I suggest a novena to Blessed Miguel Pro:

Blessed martyr of Christ the King, Father Miguel Agustin Pro, you are a special patron of those who labor, those in illness, depression or despair. You are also a friend of musicians, the captives, and all who work toward social justice. Your beloved brothers, the Jesuits, revere you and count you among the ranks of their saints. You love your people of Mexico and all those loyal to the Church. I thank the Sacred Heart of Jesus for blessing you so generously. I ask Our Lady of Guadalupe, whom you love so dearly, to intercede for the cause of your canonization. I pray that you remember me in your eternal and well-deserved rejoicing, and also my needs: (state needs)
Through your courageous life and martyrdom you have won the crown of life everlasting. Remember me, Blessed Miguel, for I remember you.

VIVA CRISTO REY!

VIVA LA VIRGEN DE GUADALUPE

Funnies for the day: Doctors and Kids

Which are funnier?

From Knutty Knights:

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move" answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know", explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

This embarassing medical moment is from the email transom (thanks UR):

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs--and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

Ads on METRO #10: The Second Biggest Nut in D.C.

An add for the nut industry claims pistachio's are the second biggest nut in D.C. My question is, who is the biggest nut? My money is on a senator from Massachusetts or New York. What do you think?

The Washington Post Strikes Again

JCECIL3 recommends E. J. Dionne's Jr. editorial. The latter makes the laughable claim:

Republicans in power have done remarkably little to live up to their promises to antiabortion voters...What Republicans have stopped pushing, or even talking much about, is a constitutional amendment to repeal Roe v. Wade, the landmark case legalizing abortion. They prefer gauzy language that sends soothing messages to pro-lifers without upsetting voters who favor abortion rights.

Is this guy serious? To put it charitably, the W. Bush administration has been less than stellar. But, one thing Bush has done right is advance the pro-life cause more than any president since 1972.

A constitutional amendment banning abortion has no chance of passing. Does anyone really think two-thirds of congress and three-fourths of the states would vote to ban abortion? It just won't happen. George W. Bush was smart to not waste political capital on such folly. Instead, he replaced choice-friendly Sandra Day O'Connor with pro-life Justice Samuel Alito.

Until Roe v. Wade is overturned, all pro-life measures enacted by governments at all levels can only affect abortion at the margins. George W. Bush made real progress in the pro-life cause by getting the Supreme Court one step closer to overturning Roe.

I would expect a Washington Post columnist to understand this.

Along with most of the mainstream media, the columnist also asks:

Will conservative Catholic bishops and intellectuals, along with evangelical preachers and political entrepreneurs, be as tough on Giuliani as they were on John Kerry in the 2004 presidential campaign?

I am not sure about preachers and "political entrepreneurs," but concerning Catholic bishops and intellectuals, I have no doubt the answer is yes.

The steamroller that is the Hillary Clinton campaign picks up an important endorsement...

Jenna Jameson, porn star and author of the New York Times bestseller "How To Make Love Like a Porn Star" (yes, there are apparently people out there who want to do such a thing), has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president, noting that the previous Clinton administration "was the best years for the adult industry". I don't even need to insert a comment here. She did all my work for me.

Hillary Clinton, woman of the people. Or at least the people who have sex on film for a living. How can she be stopped now?

Pax Chrisiti on Iran

JCEICIL3 recommends Pax Christi's newletter about Iran. The Islamofacist government which has little concept of humans\ rights, could not pay for this kind of propaganda.

Summary: Everything the U.S. government does has an alterior motive...everything Iran does has pure intentions and the Iranians can be completely trusted.

Paradise

Politically incorrect...I know:

This one way to prevent abortion.

What’s In A Name?

So now I’m hitched.

Before I launch into a recap of my wedding and honeymoon trip to Rome, I will pause to mention the first major change for Lynda: her last name. Lynda hemmed and hawed a bit about having to change her last name, though not for the stereotypical “anti-male chauvinism” reasons: “loss of identity”, “subordination of women”, “hegemony of the patriarchy”, etc. No, her reticence on the issue stems from the fact that to change your last name in Texas, it takes more phone calls, paperwork, and bureaucratic “you need to fill out these forms in triplicate, present 4 forms of ID, and had to have saved at least two of your baby molars” demands than it takes to bring high-grade plutonium into the country. This is in Texas, land of no state income tax and generally unobtrusive local government; I can’t imagine what it would be like in a more regulation and government-heavy state like Maryland or Massachusetts.

Being the “sensitive and fair-minded with a Christ-like sense of humility” person that I am, I do recognize that it appears to be unfair that Lynda has to change her last name and I don’t. And, taking my vow seriously to share equally in life’s burdens with my new bride, I proposed that we share this particular burden: instead of one taking the other’s surname, we both should change our last name to a mutually agreed upon third name. Does this not exude brilliance and bear the mark of true equality, or what?

Now we had to mutually agree upon a third name. Again in the spirit of true equality, I proposed some surnames that mixed my Irish heritage with her Hispanic heritage:

Jerry and Lynda O’Rodriguez
Jerry and Lynda McGonzalez
Jerry and Lynda de la Flanigan

None of these were suitable. After much thought, reflection, and throwing darts at pages of the phone book, we decided on our new surname:

Jerry and Lynda Rumplestiltskin

Of course, you may be wondering why we chose this particular moniker. One afternoon last summer, Lynda and I fell asleep on the couch. Arising from our slumber, we took notice that our clothes were somewhat wrinkled, or as Lynda said, “rumpled”. Lynda, thinking of Rip Van Winkle and his long nap but getting her fairy tale names mixed up, came up with this little bon mot: “Maybe that’s why they called him Rumplestiltskin….because he was rumpled!”.

Sadly, this is actually the best offering to come from her unique joke-authoring ability. Another sampling, this one recent:

Lynda: I wonder why they call it ‘Caesar Salad’…
Me: I don’t know…
Lynda: Maybe it’s because he cut off so many heads. (Laughs at her own ‘joke’)
Me: (Puzzled look on face, brain searching for some possible connection)...
Lynda: You know, the salad’s got heads of lettuce…get it?
Me: (Dumbfounded look)...
Lynda: (Laughing hysterically) That’s hilarious!!!
Me: (Slamming head against table)...
Lynda: Oh, wait, I’ve got another one…
Me: I will now set myself on fire.

Good God. I weep for our children. Of course, Lynda thinks she is Shecky Greene reborn, and is offended that I do not share her enthusiastically positive appraisal of her ‘humor’. When she suggested ‘Rumplestiltskin’, in honor of her ‘joke’, I agreed for the most noble of reasons: since we waited until we were married - more than two years - to enjoy connubial bliss, I’ll be damned if I’m going to upset her now and endanger access to said connubial bliss. I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I’m not an idiot.

Having some time to digest the idea of being Jerry Rumplestiltskin, I have come to see the upside of having such a distinctive last name. I have often wanted to chuck the whole software engineer gig and devote my energies to becoming a great philosopher or theologian. What I have learned, however, from reading great philosophers and theologians like Jacques Maritain and Hans Urs von Balthasar, is that I could never be a great philosopher or theologian because I don’t have a really cool sounding name like “Jacques Maritain” or “Hans Urs von Balthasar”. Obviously, some tinkering with my first name is required to accomplish my goal. At this point, it would be easy and tempting to go too far, so I see no reason not to do so.

Growing up, I was often asked where “Jerry” came from, since my official first name is John. When I said it was from my middle name, the person asking would immediately blurt out “Gerald?”. I would answer, “No, Gerard.” and they would make some facial contortion indicating their less-than-positive opinion of “Gerard”. After about the 200th time this happened, I started answering the “Gerald?” question with “No, Geronimo.” The look on their face was worth the coming time in purgatory for fibbing.

So there you have it: Geronimo and Lynda Rumplestiltskin

Of course, with an exotic-yet-authoritative name like Geronimo Rumplestiltskin, my career as a famous philosopher and/or theologian can now commence! Of course, I could spend years studying the great works of classic Greek philosophy, the passion and wisdom of the Early Church Fathers, the stunning intellect of Aquinas, the deep probings of Kant, Descartes, Hume, and Pascal, the madness of Neitzche, the groundbreaking work of Newman, and the wellspring of insight of Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI, so that I could truly make a meaningful contribution to the canon of human thought and wisdom.......but this would seriously cut into my time watching “The Bachelor”. No, I have decided to pursue the more modernist school of philosophical thought, where I consider everyone who went before me to be a paste-eating moron. My first work of philosophy, in the spirit of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris, is ready for publication:

The Purity And Truth Of My Own Thought And How Anyone Who Does Not Reflexively Agree With Me Is A Towering Ignoramus

By Geronimo Rumplestiltskin

New York Times best-seller list, here I come. Oprah, warm up the guest chair.....

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Isn't the answer always "no?" Peter at Catholic Dads challenges that answer. His full piece is crossposted on his blog and was in response to this post.

Is it right to tell a white lie to spare your sweetheart's feelings or is it better to be honest?

Peter says this:

...she needs my complete honesty, in the context of the whole truth about her. If she can't expect honesty, even when it is tough, then who can she expect it from? Would I rather she found out via an unfeeling stranger that I had allowed her to present herself in an unflattering way for some time because I was too afraid of hurting her feelings?

The moral question here is to determine what is most charitable. What would be best for your sweetheart? Certainly, she needs to know that you love her and that you think she is beautiful. But if something she is wearing is not particularly flattering, or worse, immodest. Is it your place to tell her (in the most loving way possible)?

Here is a question for the three women who read this. What would you want your boyfriend or husband to do?

Ads on METRO #9: Life is Short. Get a Divorce

Okay, this ad was not on the METRO, but it garnered nation-wide attention. It is a billboard posted by a Chicago law firm specializing in divorce. It features two scantily clad bodies (no faces) separated by the slogan, "Life is short. Get a divorce."

The expected corrections from people of goodwill can be read here, here, here and here.

Ironically, my spiritual director and I spoke about divorce today. He said, "Life is short, stay married." I doubt he had heard about this billboard, but his point was clear. The last judgement is just around the corner.

But the problems aren't just in the afterlife. This attitude toward marriage would be hell on Earth. Who can experience real love and security in a marriage that can be jettisoned just because something younger and better looking has come along?

The bright side is that there has been a huge backlash against this ad. I guess society has not slipped into the abyss just yet.

Just War in Iraq

JCECIL5 recommended an editorial to his readers.

It seems the editors of Commonweal take exception to George Weigel's analysis of the war in Iraq. Their editorial calls for Weigel to concede the war was a mistake. Their argument, which is little more than a catalogue of military and political missteps, can be summed up in one statement, “we told you so.”

The editors invoke a statement by the USCCB to support their screed. They pay lip service to the Bishops’ plan for the future. But focus primarily on highlighting, yet again, the mistakes of the past.

The USCCB understands the U.S. has a moral obligation to set things right in Iraq. They have outlined a series of benchmarks for success in the region. But, while liberals in Washington see benchmarks as goals that must be achieved if troops are to remain overseas, the Bishops see them as goals to be reached before the U.S. can withdrawal.

The Bishop’s statement is nicely concluded:

Our nation is at a crossroads in Iraq. We must avoid two directions that distort reality and limit appropriate responses. We must resist a pessimism that might move our nation to abandon the moral responsibilities it accepted in using force and might tempt us to withdraw prematurely from Iraq without regard for moral and human consequences. We must reject an optimism that fails to acknowledge clearly past mistakes, failed intelligence, and inadequate planning related to Iraq, and minimizes the serious challenges and human costs that lie ahead.

George Weigel seems to agree in his latest article on the subject. Weigel admits a multitude of military and political mistakes were made in the war. In fact nearly half of his article is dedicated to analyzing them. His position can hardly be called overly optimistic. One of the biggest mistakes (aside from accepting faulty intelligence on WMD) was not sending enough troops to secure the peace from the outset.

Unlike his critics in progressive circles, Weigel is also not overly pessimistic. He articulates clearly that the U.S. has a moral obligation to make things right in Iraq and is hopeful that General Petraeus’ new strategy will do just that. There is no question in my mind that continued funding and more troops (as difficult as that is the hear) are needed to make that strategy work.

Weigel and the USCCB have certainly disagreed about the Iraq war in the past, but it seems they are in some agreement about a much more important question, “where do we go from here?” I applaud their consideration of that question with moral seriousness.

While Weigel and the Bishops are looking forward, it is shame the editors of Commonweal are stuck in the past.

Muslims and Christians in Turkey

Mustafa Akyol's editorial "Render Unto Ataturk" describes a Turkey where the biggest threat to religious freedom is not Islam, but extreme secularism. One of the most fascinating tidbits of his piece is:

Ozbek said, “attacks against Christians still continue.” He added that harassment to Christians comes from extreme nationalists, not from Muslims. The only civil-society initiative that demanded rights for Christians, Pastor Ozbek noted, came from Mazlum-Der (“Society of the Oppressed”), an Islamic human-rights group.

Perhaps Islamists' hatred of the west is not so much due to the west's Christian roots, but due to the latter's militant and decadent secularism. Perhaps embracing our Christianity and finding common ground with Muslims as people of faith who worship the God of Abraham would prove effective in thwarting the impending clash of civilizations.

Amnesty International Supports Abortion

Ryan T. Anderson reveals, "Amenesty International's Dirty Little Secret." If what he says is true, then it is a sad day for the human rights organization. They have allegedly decided to support abortion on demand. Thousands of catholics support AI's work. It is a shame that another otherwise worthy cause is forcing good Catholics to face the hard choice of quitting an organization they once respected or promoting abortion on demand.

I hope catholics stand up to AI and withdrawal all of their support. If every Catholic in AI did so, I am certain the policy would be reversed. An organization which gets so much support from Catholics cannot afford to alienate them.

Unfortunately, many catholics will be tempted to simply ignore the policy and give AI a pass. They will want to say AI does so much good elsewhere that their policy of supporting abortion can be ignored. This is a time Catholics can make a real difference by standing up for the Truth. This is a time Catholics can send a message that nothing is more important to human rights than protecting the rights of the most helpless and the most innocent to life.

Pray that Catholics and all people of good will do indeed take this opportunity to stand up for life.

Ads on METRO #8: AIDS in Metro D.C.

The Whitman-Walker Clinic sponsors an ad depicting a white effeminate male:

D.C. has a higher HIV infection rate than many sub-Saharan African countries

According to WWC's statistics 49% of AIDS cases in Northern VA are causes by "men having sex with men" (MSM) compared with 16% being caused by heterosexual contact. Nationwide the stats are 47% and 17% respectively.

Clearly, homosexual conduct plays a large role in the spread of this deadly disease. When one considers the way HIV is transmitted, one can see that unprotected MSM with an infected person is very dangerous.

Furthermore, the WWC claims, "HIV is increasing especially among minority MSM" for the following reasons:

• Initial prevention efforts were produced by and focused on white gay men;
• African-American and Latino men are less likely to identify themselves as gay or bisexual, thereby hindering prevention practices or services from reaching these populations.

How self-identifying oneself as gay leads to a greater likelihood one will not engage in risky behavior remains unclear. Condoms are available to all men regardless of their embracing a gay identity. I find it hard to believe promiscuity among self-identified gays is less than those who have not come out of the closet.

WWC was "established by and for the gay and lesbian community" and provides counselling, medical care, a food bank and other community services. Is the WWC saying that one must "identify themselves as gay or bisexual" in order to receive WWC's services?

I do not want to diminish the good things WWC is doing for sick people. But, they seem to be encouraging people who may experience same-sex attractions to embrace the gay lifestyle. Christians should enourage those who suffer from homosexual desires to embrace chastity instead. Courage is a Catholic organization that does so. More on that later.