Tom and Jerry: Defenders of All Things Right and Good

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Another Tough Theological Question

From various internet sources, there are rumors, postings, and lots of speculation - including "leaks" from "insiders", frame-by-frame video parsing, and even (purported) forwarded email messages between Melissa and Jason - that this season's The Bachelor was not on the up-and-up.

To save you the time it would take to wade through the din of online voices crying "Foul!", here's the compiled version of what "really" happened :

Just prior to the Final Five, Jason informed producers that Molly was the one.

Producers asked Jason who he liked second best and he identified Melissa. They told him to bring her to the Final Two, pick her at the Final Rose Ceremony for drama and that she would get America’s love and attention — to set her up for The Bachelorette. They convinced Jason that he would do no irrevocable harm to Melissa, because she would get the popularity.

However, Melissa really did fall in love with Jason. The host, Chris Harrison, and the show's staff saw it and they were rooting for her, unaware of the "plan". Only Mike Fleiss, another producer, and Jason knew of what was to happen.

Immediately after the Final Rose Ceremony, Harrison and the rest of the staff were informed of the plan and what would go down at the after-show.

After Jason returned to Seattle he got in touch with producers and they put him in touch with Molly. Molly did not know about this plan at the time of the show's taping, but did learn of it from Jason within a couple of weeks.

Melissa was head over heels in love. She saw Jason every other weekend and told Jason she was planning on moving out to Seattle, loved Ty, wanted to start a family. In the meantime, Jason and Molly are seeing each other on weekends that Melissa was not in Seattle. Jason made all of this seem great. He is playing the game, before finally realizing after one of these “heart to heart” talks that Melissa was seriously falling for him.

Jason backed off, called the producers and they hastily arranged the "after-show" that was taped in January and shown on Monday night, where Jason breaks up with Melissa and asks Molly for another chance.

Melissa is asked by the producers to be the next Bachelorette. She turns them down flat. The Bachelor shows that are still in post-production editing are re-edited to portray Jillian (the producers' next choice for the Bachelorette, who accepts) in the best possible light.

None of this will come out because ABC makes each contestant (and the bachelor) sign a lifetime agreement stating they will not reveal details of the show. Breaking this agreement would incur a $5 million dollar lawsuit.

OK, fine. Did Molly and Jason have contact between the end of the show and January's "after-show" taping? I would find it hard to believe that they didn't. And contrary to my first impression of the first "after-show", I think Melissa knew that she was going to be dumped - she didn't greet Jason with any warmth at all, and wasn't wearing her engagement ring - but had to go through with it for contractual purposes. I can also readily believe the part about editing the show to portray Jillian in the best light possible once she had agreed to do The Bachelorette.

The rest of it sounds a little too "conspiracy theory"-ish to me. I could investigate further, but quite frankly I am already rather embarrassed that I ever paused a moment to give a damn about the travesty that is The Bachelor, let alone blog about it. The only people who come out of this mess with their dignity intact is Melissa's parents.

So here's my tough theological question:

Is it possible for God to forgive me for

a) watching this crap ?
b) caring about this crap ?
c) wasting the time and effort that it took yesterday to blog about this crap ?
d) wasting the time and effort that it took today to blog about this crap again ?

Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.


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