For those of us having a moral problem with strip clubs...

...our problem is solved:

Customers Find All Skin, No Meat At Vegan Strip Club

PORTLAND, Ore. -- You won’t find any meat at a new spot in Portland, but you will find a whole lot of flesh. Casa Diablo claims to be the world’s first vegan strip club -- there's no meat, eggs or dairy on the menu. The club reflects the ideals of its owner, Johnny Diablo.

Johnny Diablo. Now there's a name you can trust.

“My very sole purpose in life is to save as many creatures from pain and suffering as possible,” Diablo said.

Milk: No
Exploitation of both men and women: Yes.
Got it.

Diablo, a vegan for more than 20 years, insists his club isn’t a publicity stunt. He hopes to expose people to the vegan way and change the way they think. While it may not be the most orthodox way to win over new vegans, Diablo hopes people bring some green and eat some green at his new club.

Well, I shouldn't be too hard on him, right? I mean, he's only trying to help people live healthier lives, right? He's just trying to show respect to all people and animals....

“(It’s) vixens, not veal, and sizzle, not steak,” Diablo said. “We put the meat on the pole, not on the plate.”

...with the notable exception of his dancers, I mean.

In addition to laying claim to the world's first vegan strip club, Diablo also said his club offers another first in Portland -- the first non-smoking strip club in the city.

Oh yeah, this will work. Because most of the guys that go to strip clubs are the vegan, non-smoking types.