This is a True Story. Really.

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ''House'' for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is masculine: "el lapiz.'' A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer?''' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender (''la computadora''), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate wth other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (''el computador''), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

You decide you won.

Thanks for sending this Katie.

Going to the dogs….

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything (besides the sports quiz and the answers), as the “Real World” – my actual life, not the MTV show – has kept me somewhat busy. Work has been hell; though unlike Tom’s job, no one shoots at me while I’m doing it. I see in my absence that Tom has been holding up his end in the posting department, with even a foray into sports commentary….

Lynda and I celebrated our “1 Year Dating Anniversary” the other night; I gave her a certificate for a massage, a dozen roses, and a package of rawhide bones for her dog, Tipper. I have a habit of becoming the best friend/chief spoiler of the pet of whomever I’m dating: 5-6 years ago, it was Lothron, the ferret of my then-significant other, who was on the receiving end of my attention. I even wrote a song about him:

Do you have an easel
So that I can draw a weasel
Who looks just like my little buddy Lothron?

‘Cause I cannot bear it
To be far from my favorite ferret
He’s the best little buddy that there ever has been

(it went on from there…)

Lynda has asked my to pen a tune for Tipper. I’m working on it….

Lynda went out of town weekend before last, and I volunteered to go over to her house twice a day to take care of the canine. She and her friends were a little worried because I generally let Tipper get away with all kinds of stuff Lynda would never allow: jumping in my lap, licking my face, giving her extra treats, etc. They were convinced that Tipper would be spoiled rotten upon Lynda’s return. Lynda has also expressed concern in my potential parenting ability, seeing the way I let the dog walk all over me. I made up my mind that I would enforce the needed canine discipline, and would keep a running account of my dogsitting sessions to impress Lynda with. Let’s see how I did:

Thursday night, 6:30pm -- OK, here it goes. I will be a tough disciplinarian. I will talk the talk. I will walk the walk. I will eat lightning and crap thunder. I am the master of all canines I see. Tipper will snap to attention when I call. She will sit. She will stay. She will roll over. She will call me “Daddy Dearest”. Now, where are those wire hangers?…

6:32pm – Tipper looks at my with those big eyes, with tail wagging, and brings me a ball to play fetch with. All attempts at discipline fail. Resolve crumbles. I’m toast. I let her jump in my lap. I let her lick my face. I let her jump on Lynda’s bed. I let her crawl in Lynda’s bed. I let her wear Lynda’s clothes. I let her sell Lynda’s car and spend the money on Milk Bones.

Friday morning – I take Tipper on her morning walk. This morning would be tough, as it is “garbage collection day”, when everyone has their garbage out on the curb for pickup. Per Lynda’s instructions, I am careful to not let her eat any small pieces of paper or trash she finds along the way. In fact, one time Tipper grabbed a little scrap of paper, and I reached inside her mouth and pulled it out!!! Of course, I was powerless to stop her from digesting two tennis balls, 2/3 of a set of Encyclopedia Brittanica, and a small raccoon.

Friday evening – I have often said that Tipper has the energy of teenager, and what does every teenage girl want on a Friday night? A slumber party !!!!! We have 8 neighborhood dogs over (all female)…they order pizza, do each others’ hair and nails, and talk about boys. I chaperone. After I fall asleep, they sneak out and toilet paper the house three doors down (the home of that snooty French poodle).

Saturday morning – Feeling that Tipper needs intellectual stimulation, I take her to Borders bookstore. She browses for a while, then picks out Stephan Hawking’s “A Brief History Of Time” for herself. I pick out “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” for myself. I lose track of her for a while, but find her in the checkout line. She had been over at the rather extensive magazine rack, and picked one out. I’ve always thought it was strange that men’s mags have women on the cover while women’s mags have….women on the cover. My theory is that men buy their mags because they contain what they want, and women buy their mags because they contain what they want to be. Tipper had chosen a magazine that I’m sure she thought was about what she wants to be: an untamed female dog whose masters never discipline them. The masthead read:

Wild Bitches

No One Tells These Girls ‘No’ !

That was all that was visible above the plain brown wrapper. I told her that the magazine was probably not about what she thought it was about, and to make sure, I looked at every page of the magazine, two or three times, from various angles. I told her I’d keep it for her until she’s a little older, and she would understand what it was about…

Saturday evening – I take Tipper to a sneak preview of “Eight Below”, about the huskies stranded in Antarctica. I get a Diet Coke and Milk Duds, Tipper settles on JuJu Bees.

There was one scene in the movie where the dogs spot a flock of birds and “make a plan of attack". The lead dog faces the others and barks “Woof!!”, which in canine obviously means

“4 of you encroach silently from the north as I circle around to the south; I will charge them, forcing them in your direction; you attack in a ‘V’ formation and knock them out of the sky with your paws; we will share our ensuing feast with our pack’s injured members…”.

To this, Tipper offered a hearty “Woof!”, which obviously meant

“I find your attack plan basically sound; however, with the wind blowing south the birds might catch your scent; perhaps planning your attack on an east-west axis would be prudent…”

Then she stole my Milk Duds.

Sunday morning – Tipper goes with me to church. She followed the mass OK, but she is a terrible singer. She also turned the “Sign Of Peace” into the “Sniff Your Behind Of Peace”.

Sunday night – Lynda returns. Order is restored. Tipper has promised to keep quiet about the weekend if I sneak her extra treats.

The Shrine of the Holy Whapping

"'Catholic Nerds' at the University of Notre Dame share their thoughts on Catholic identity at ND, cultural reviews, and other musings (or 'moosings' as the case may be) with the rest of the world" reads the description of an intelligently written blog titled The Shrine of the Holy Whapping. These domers err on the conservative side. I don't just mean orthodox (they are of course), but they definitely lean right. Their blog is creative and amusing. It is good to know young people are so concerned about their faith.

They have recently posted the new list of cardinals (in Italian). Archbishop O'Malley of Boston is on the list. They linked to a blog dedicated to my favorite subject of late, the discussion of academic freedom at ND (I have yet to visit this site because I'm trying to cut back).

The Shrine of the Holy Whapping is worth a visit.

Going for Gold in the Snowboard Cross

Torino's winter games featured the first ever snowboard cross. This may well be the most fun to watch olympic event. Four snowboarders start together on a narrow, bumpy track in a race to the finish. Precise control is critical. Any wayward move will cause the competitor to lose precious speed which is difficult to make back. Wipeouts are common. Less than the length of a snowboard separated silver and gold in the men's race. USA's Seth Wescott took home the top prize.

The real excitement happened in the women's race. After the first turn in the track, America's Lindsey Jacobellis pushed out in front. Halfway through the race, two competitors had wiped out and Jacobellis had a very comfortable lead. She had the gold medal in the bag. On the second to last jump, she decided to showboat a little and grabbed her board in mid air. She lost her balance and fell. Despite her quick recovery, Switzeland's Tanja Frieden passed her for the gold. Jacobellis wasn't too upset. She told the AP, "I was having fun. Snowboarding is fun. I was ahead. I wanted to share my enthusiasm with the crowd. I messed up. Oh well, it happens." So she's bringing home the silver. Good for her. I watched the event on Sky News. The British satellite network set highlights of Jacobellis' run to the tune of "American Idiot." Ouch. There is no sympathy for the yanks around here.

The train continues to steam down the one track in my mind. Bishop John D'Arcy, ordinary of the Diocese of Fort Wayne/South Bend, issued a statement about Notre Dame's performance of the Vagina Monologues. He included an appropriate quote from Deus Caritas Est, and he explained the church's position well. The Monologues are not the solution to violence, promoting a culture of human dignity is.

This is another sober view of academic freedom. In other news, Baylor might look to Notre Dame as a model of combining religious character with top notch academics.

Don't Worry Mom

I should clarify something. Despite calling it combat, my sorties over Afghanistan are very safe. We fly in a very low threat environment. I'm not being cavalier about it. I know the terrorists would love to take down an American warplane, but we are careful, we have good defensive systems and their weaponary is limited. The U.S. patrolled the no-fly-zones over Iraq for over a decade without losing a single aircraft. Sadam's air defenses were considered one of the best in the U.S. had ever faced and he regularly took shots at us. The terrorists in Afghanistan have very little by comparison. Don't worry, I'll be safe. The people you should should worry about are our brothers and sisters on the ground. They get shot at almost everyday. Yet, they continue to courageously fight for stability in the region. When I spoke of gun fire on the radio, it was our ground forces being attacked, not me. We were flying well above the fray. Pray for our troops, especially the brave ones on the ground, and pray for peace.

P.S. Here are two more air refueling photos from Air Force PA (Public Affairs).

Photo 1
Photo 2

Here is another excellent contribution to Notre Dame's ongoing discussion of academic freedom.

Missionaries in Contact

Please pray for my friend Jessica of Renewal Ministries. She is on a mission to the Sudan. May the Lord protect her and make her trip fruitful.

Answers to last Wednesday's "Super Hard Sports Quiz"..

....and scores for the two respondents, Erin "The Sports Babe" and Tom "I Let A Girl Beat Me At A Sports Quiz"....


1. (5 points) I’ll start with an easy one. February 22, 2005 will be forever remembered in the annals of history for a historic dating event: the first date of Jerry Beckett and Lynda Lozano. 25 years earlier, on February 22, 1980, a historic sports event took place. What was it?

Answer: Winter Olympics, Lake Placid NY
Hockey Medal Round

USA 4
USSR 3

Miracle On Ice. One of the most amazing sports events, and upsets, in history.

Erin: 5 points
Tom: 0 points

2. (15 points) In the movie Rudy, Sean Astin (Rudy), Charles Dutton (Fortune the Groundskeeper), Ned Beatty (Rudy’s dad), Lilly Taylor (Rudy’s girlfriend), and Robert Prosky (Fr. Cavanaugh) all were established Hollywood actors and all filled major roles in the film. Jon Favreau, who played D-Bob, Rudy’s friend at ND, would later become a star in his own right in movies like “Swingers”, “Very Bad Things”, and host of other movie starring and co-starring credits. Many smaller roles were filled by various obscure actors and Notre Dame students, particularly the football team in the movie, which is comprised of almost entirely ND students. However, one player on the movie team, an unknown Hollywood actor at the time, has since gone on to be one of the bigger stars in Hollywood today (he co-starred in one of last summer's biggest box-office movies, and was in another popular summer movie in a supporting role). Who is he?

Answer: Vince Vaughn, who co-starred in Wedding Crashers and had a supporting role in Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

Erin: 15 points, 20 total
Tom: 15 points, 15 total

3. (5 points) Getting tickets to major sporting events can be both difficult and expensive. For which of these events, year after year, is it both the easiest and least expensive to get last minute (or last couple of days) tickets for?

Super Bowl ______

World Series Game ______

NBA Finals Game ______

NCAA Basketball National
Championship Game ______

College Football National
Championship Bowl Game ______

NHL Finals Game ______

Bonus (5 points): Why is it so easy/inexpensive to get tickets for this contest?

Answer: The NCAA Basketball National Championship Game. The tournament semi-finals are played on Saturday and the final on Monday night. Tickets for these games are generally sold to the competing schools’ fans as a package, a ticket each for the semi-final game and the final. However, two of the four teams playing on Saturday are eliminated, and their fans, more often than not, just want to pack up and head home. If you hang around outside the arena after the semi-final games, you can almost always get a final game ticket for face value, or even lower.

Question
Erin: 5 points, 25 total
Tom: 5 points, 20 total

Bonus (judgment call here; you both alluded to the right answer but didn’t fully spell it out…)
Erin: 3 points, 28 total
Tom: 3 points, 23 total

4. (10 points) Joe Montana quarterbacked the San Francisco 49ers to 4 Super Bowl championships in the 1980’s and is generally considered one of the finest quarterbacks to every play the game. Before his NFL career, Montana starred at Notre Dame, leading the Irish to the 1977 National championship and numerous come-from-behind victories, including the famous 1979 Cotton Bowl comeback win over Houston. However, which of the following is true of Montana’s college career?

_____ he was never once a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd team All-American
_____ he never received a single Heisman vote
_____ he was not a first round draft pick
_____ he neither holds nor set any Notre Dame passing record
__X__ all of the above
_____ none of the above

Erin: 10 points, 38 total
Tom: 10 points, 33 total

5. (20 points) The TV network ESPN Classic shows classic sports contests from years gone by. These games cover an expansive time span, from (for example) boxing in the 1940’s to baseball in the 1950’s to college football from the 70’s and 80’s to recent games. However, two games that get shown quite often happened on the same day: October 15, 1988. What two games were they, and why are they shown?

Answer:
Game 1: #4 Notre Dame 31, #1 Miami FL 30; At the time, college football’s most heated rivalry. The Irish rejoin the national elite, breaking Miami’s 36-game regular season winning streak.

Game 2: World Series, Game 1, LA Dodgers beat the heavily favored Oakland A’s on injured Kirk Gibson’s 9th inning home run. It is Gibson’s only at-bat during the series, won by the Dodgers in 5 games.

Erin: 20 points, 58 total
Tom: 20 points, 53 total

6. (15 points) From time to time, a professional sports franchise will leave a city and move to another......However, there is one professional sports franchise that neither can nor will ever move to another city. What is that team and why can’t/won’t they move?

Answer: The NFL’s Green Bay Packers, because they are owned by the city of Green Bay, WI.

Erin: 15 points, 73 total
Tom: 15 points, 68 total

7. (15 points) In 1984, guard John Stockton of Gonzaga and forward Charles Barkley of Auburn were both drafted in the first round of the NBA draft, Stockton by the Utah Jazz and Barkley by the Philadelphia 76ers. Both:
· were considered to be questionable picks (Stockton too slow and white, Barkley too small)
· enjoyed long careers – Stockton retired in 2003, Barkley in 2000.
· were perennial All-Stars.
· will be first-ballot Hall of Famers.
· were named to the NBA’s 50 All-Time Greatest Players list in 1997
· won gold medals as members of the 1992 and 1996 USA Olympic Basketball team
· never won an NBA championship
· led their teams to the NBA Finals (Stockton in 1997 and 1998, Barkley – with the Phoenix Suns – in 1993) only to lose to Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls in 6 games each time
However, there is one other distinction they share, an event that happened in 1984. What was it?

Answer: They were both cut from the 1984 Olympic team on the same day, and even shared a ride to the airport to go home.

Erin: 0 points, 73 total
Tom: 0 points, 68 total

8. (10 points) Many players in baseball learn little tricks to help certain umpire calls go their way. Catchers catch a pitch outside the strike zone and quickly jerk the glove into the strike zone to fool the ump. Outfielders will sometimes trap a ball against the ground (not an out) but then place the ball in the top part of the web of their glove (called “snowconing”) to make it appear as though they caught it for an out. The Chicago Cub outfielders, when playing in Wrigley Field, are taught to do something when the opposing batter hits a long shot to the outfield wall. What are they taught to do to fool the ump?

Answer: They are instructed to pretend to lose the ball in the ivy. Thus a triple or inside-the-park home run will be ruled a ground rule double.

Erin: 10 points, 83 total
Tom: 0 points, 68 total

9. Nicknames: Provide the nicknames for the following athletes (4 points each):

Basketball:
Larry Bird.........................................Larry Legend, or The Hick From French Lick
Earvin Johnson ................................Magic
Karl Malone......................................The Mailman
Jason Williams.................................White Chocolate
Gary Payton......................................The Glove

Baseball:
Randy Johnson.................................The Big Unit
Bill Lee..............................................Spaceman
Ted Williams.....................................Teddy Ballgame, or The Splendid Splinter
Joe DiMaggio....................................Joltin’ Joe, or (the one I had in mind) The Yankee Clipper
Frank Thomas...................................The Big Hurt

Football:
Billy Johnson......................................White Shoes
Kenny Stabler.....................................The Snake
Javon Kearse......................................The Freak
Deion Sanders.....................................Neon, or Primetime
Walter Payton.....................................Sweetness

Team and Unit Nicknames:

1960’s – 1970’s Minnesota Vikings Defense...........The Purple People Eaters
1970’s Pittsburgh Steelers Defense........................The Steel Curtain
1970’s Dallas Cowboys Defense............................Doomsday
University of Houston men's basketball
teams of 1982-'83 and '83-'84...............................Phi Slamma Jamma
1982 Milwaukee Brewers.....................................Harvey’s Wallbangers (after the owner)

Erin: 17 right, 68 points, 151 total
Tom: 15 right, 60 points, 128 total

10. Match these well-known figures of entertainment and politics with their sports backgrounds (2 points each):

Actor John Wayne..................................d. football lineman at USC

Actor Mark Harmon...............................h. quarterback at UCLA

Actor Dean Cain.....................................e. defensive back at Princeton

Actor and Comedian Bob Hope...............g. professional boxer (fought under the name “Packy East”)

President George W. Bush.......................c. cheerleader at Yale

President Gerald Ford ............................a. football lineman at Univ. of Michigan

President Ronald Reagan........................i. radio sports announcer

Congressman J.C. Watts..........................j. quarterback at Univ. of Oklahoma

Senator Bill Bradley.................................f. All-American basketball player at Princeton, won NBA title with NY Knicks

Senator Tom Osbourne............................b. Coached U. of Nebraska to 3 national championships


Erin: 8 right, 16 points, 167 total out of 200 (Outstanding!!!)
Tom: Didn’t answer, 128 total out of 200 (Embarrassment to Maleness!!!)

__________________________________________________

As I mentioned when I posted the quiz, I created it for my girlfriend last fall, mostly for fun. Of course, about now she's probably thinking:

____ "Is this what I'm going to have to put up with the rest of my life?"
____ "It's OK...he'll spend a lifetime of answering my trick questions, like 'What are you thinking?', "Does this outfit make me look fat?', 'Do you think that woman is pretty?', etc....
____ "Oh, well, at least he cleans up the dirty dishes in his sink...Oh, no, wait, he doesn't do that either..."
____ "I wonder if my eHarmony.com account is still open?"

Choice Feminism and Human Flourishing

Linda R. Hirshman, writing in American Prospect, laments the failure of "choice feminism." In her view, women's choosing to stay at home is undermining the feminist movement. She believes, "If women’s flourishing does matter, feminists must acknowledge that the family is to 2005 what the workplace was to 1964 and the vote to 1920. Like the right to work and the right to vote, the right to have a flourishing life that includes but is not limited to family cannot be addressed with language of choice." The premise of her argument is this, "The family -- with its repetitious, socially invisible, physical tasks -- is a necessary part of life, but it allows fewer opportunities for full human flourishing than public spheres like the market or the government." Part of me thinks her piece is meant to be a satire, especially her advice on how to gain power in the household. She advises elite women to "marry down" so they can have the upper hand in the family. As if marriage were about power, not love. Certainly, a woman should be free to choose her own path in life. I know more than a few elite, intelligent women who would thrive in "public spheres." Many of them have and still do, and I admire them for that. Yet some of them choose to focus their efforts on their families, and some plan to do so in the future. If any of you family focused women are reading this blog, I would appreciate your perspective. Do you feel your choice is keeping you from flourishing?

Rednecks on Spring Break

Cruise the waters in a redneck limo.

God is Love

Pope Benedict's XVI first encyclical, Deus Caritas Est, instructs the faithful on several dimensions of God's love. This document is divided into two parts. The first covers the relationship between Eros, erotic love, and Agape, charity. The second part develops the Catholic Church's social teaching by reaffirming that the central motivation for all works of charity should be love of neighbor. Pope Benedict warns that some Catholic charitable organizations may be temped to serve an ideology rather than their fellow man. This happens on both the left and right ends of the ideological spectrum. This and much more are packed into the short encyclical.

Well put

William Dempsey, Notre Dame class of 1952, eloquently expressed his concerns about the "V-day" controversy in a letter to the Observer. We certainly need reasonable voices in this debate.

So we like quizzes, do we ? OK.....

...I have a doozy of a quiz for everyone (read: the 3 or so people that read this blog). It's a sports quiz that I made for Lynda last fall, mostly for laughs, and also to see if she would actually do it. (As you can see, I have way too much time on my hands.....) To date, she hasn't finished it, or even started on it...not that I blame her. Can anyone help her out?

Jerry's Super Hard Sports Quiz For Lynda

Scoring:

Your score: __________

0: You’re a girl
45 – 5: Good guesser
75 – 50: Great guesser
105 – 80: Google is wonderful, isn’t it?
135 – 110: Sports Babe (Dinner on me)
155 – 140: Hot Sports Babe (Nice Dinner on me)
175 – 160: Super Hot Sports Babe (Really Nice Dinner and Movie on me)
200 – 180: Will you marry me?



1. (5 points) I’ll start with an easy one. February 22, 2005 will be forever remembered in the annals of history for a historic dating event: the first date of Jerry and Lynda. 25 years earlier, on February 22, 1980, a historic sports event took place. What was it?

Answer:__________________________________________________


2. (15 points) In the movie Rudy, Sean Astin (Rudy), Charles Dutton (Fortune the Groundskeeper), Ned Beatty (Rudy’s dad), Lilly Taylor (Rudy’s girlfriend), and Robert Prosky (Fr. Cavanaugh) all were established Hollywood actors and all filled major roles in the film. Jon Favreau, who played D-Bob, Rudy’s friend at ND, would later become a star in his own right in movies like “Swingers”, “Very Bad Things”, and host of other movie starring and co-starring credits. Many smaller roles were filled by various obscure actors and Notre Dame students, particularly the football team in the movie, which is comprised of almost entirely ND students. However, one player on the movie team, an unknown Hollywood actor at the time, has since gone on to be one of the bigger stars in Hollywood today (he co-starred in one of last summer's biggest box-office movies, and was in another popular summer movie in a supporting role). Who is he?

Answer:__________________________________________________


3. (5 points) Getting tickets to major sporting events can be both difficult and expensive. For which of these events, year after year, is it both the easiest and least expensive to get last minute (or last couple of days) tickets for?

Super Bowl ______

World Series Game ______

NBA Finals Game ______

NCAA Basketball National
Championship Game ______

College Football National
Championship Bowl Game ______

NHL Finals Game ______

Bonus (5 points): Why is it so easy/inexpensive to get tickets for this contest?

Answer: _________________________________________________


4. (10 points) Joe Montana quarterbacked the San Francisco 49ers to 4 Super Bowl championships in the 1980’s and is generally considered one of the finest quarterbacks to every play the game. Before his NFL career, Montana starred at Notre Dame, leading the Irish to the 1977 National championship and numerous come-from-behind victories, including the famous 1979 Cotton Bowl comeback win over Houston. However, which of the following is true of Montana’s college career?

_____ he was never once a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd team All-American
_____ he never received a single Heisman vote
_____ he was not a first round draft pick
_____ he neither holds nor set any Notre Dame passing record
_____ all of the above
_____ none of the above


5. (20 points) The TV network ESPN Classic shows classic sports contests from years gone by. These games cover an expansive time span, from (for example) boxing in the 1940’s to baseball in the 1950’s to college football from the 70’s and 80’s to recent games. However, two games that get shown quite often happened on the same day: October 15, 1988. What two games were they, and why are they shown?

Answer:

Game 1: ________________________

Why? __________________________________________

Game 2: ________________________

Why? __________________________________________


6. (15 points) From time to time, a professional sports franchise will leave a city and move to another. The owner will decide he wants a new stadium or a better deal from the city, and when he doesn’t get it, will move the franchise. Such moves often cause heartbreak to the longtime fans of the city that was abandoned. Some franchise moves in the last 25 years:

Baseball:
Montreal Expos moved to Washington DC

NBA:
Kansas City Kings moved to Sacramento
New Orleans Jazz moved to Salt Lake City, Utah
San Diego Clippers moved to Los Angeles
Vancouver Grizzlies moved to Memphis

NFL:
Oakland Raiders moved to LA, then back to Oakland
Baltimore Colts moved to Indianapolis
St. Louis Cardinals moved to Phoenix
Los Angeles Rams moved to St. Louis
Cleveland Browns moved to Baltimore (became Baltimore Ravens)

NHL:
Atlanta Flames moved to Calgary
Minnesota North Stars moved to Dallas (became Dallas Stars)
Quebec Nordiques moved to Denver (became Colorado Avalanche)
Hartford Whalers moved to South Carolina (became Carolina Hurricanes)
Winnepeg Jets moved to Phoenix (became Phoenix Coyotes)

However, there is one professional sports franchise that neither can nor will ever move to another city. What is that team and why can’t/won’t they move?

Answer:__________________________________________________


7. (15 points) In 1984, guard John Stockton of Gonzaga and forward Charles Barkley of Auburn were both drafted in the first round of the NBA draft, Stockton by the Utah Jazz and Barkley by the Philadelphia 76ers. Both:

· were considered to be questionable picks (Stockton too slow and white, Barkley too small)
· enjoyed long careers – Stockton retired in 2003, Barkley in 2000.
· were perennial All-Stars.
· will be first-ballot Hall of Famers.
· were named to the NBA’s 50 All-Time Greatest Players list in 1997
· won gold medals as members of the 1992 and 1996 USA Olympic Basketball team
· never won an NBA championship
· led their teams to the NBA Finals (Stockton in 1997 and 1998, Barkley – with the Phoenix Suns – in 1993) only to lose to Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls in 6 games each time

However, there is one other distinction they share, an event that happened to both of them in June of 1984. What was it?

Answer:__________________________________________________


8. (10 points) Many players in baseball learn little tricks to help certain umpire calls go their way. Catchers catch a pitch outside the strike zone and quickly jerk the glove into the strike zone to fool the ump. Outfielders will sometimes trap a ball against the ground (not an out) but then place the ball in the top part of the web of their glove (called “snowconing”) to make it appear as though they caught it for an out. The Chicago Cub outfielders, when playing in Wrigley Field, are taught to do something when the opposing batter hits a long shot to the outfield wall. What are they taught to do to fool the ump?

Answer:__________________________________________________


9. Nicknames: Provide the nicknames for the following athletes (4 points each):

Basketball:

Larry Bird _______________
(Boston Celtics 1979-1993, Hall of Famer)

Earvin Johnson _______________
(LA Lakers 1979-1991, Hall of Famer)

Karl Malone _______________
(Utah Jazz 1985-2003, Future Hall of Famer)

Jason Williams _______________
(Sacramento and Memphis, 1998-present)

Gary Payton _______________
(Seattle and LA Lakers 1990-2005,
Future Hall of Famer)

Baseball:

Randy Johnson _______________
(Pitcher, played on numerous teams,
currently with New York Yankees,
Future Hall of Famer)

Bill Lee _______________
(Pitcher, played on numerous teams,
1969-1982)

Ted Williams _______________
(“Quite simply, the Greatest Hitter Who
Ever Lived”, Boston Red Sox, 1939-1960,
Hall of Famer)

Joe DiMaggio _______________
(Most popular and highly regarded player
from the great Yankees teams, 1936-1951,
Hall of Famer)

Frank Thomas _______________
(Numerous teams, most famously with the
1993 Chicago White Sox)

Football:

Billy Johnson _______________
(Houston Oilers, 1974-1980)

Kenny Stabler _______________
(Oakland Raiders 1968-1979, Hall of Famer)

Javon Kearse _______________
(Tennessee Titans and Philadelphia Eagles,
1999-present)

Deion Sanders _______________
(Atlanta, San Francisco, Dallas 1989-1997)

Walter Payton _______________
(Chicago Bears, 1974-1987, Hall of Famer)

Team and Unit Nicknames:

1960’s – 1970’s Minnesota Vikings Defense _______________

1970’s Pittsburgh Steelers Defense _______________

1970’s Dallas Cowboys Defense _______________

University of Houston men's basketball
teams of 1982-'83 and '83-'84 _______________

1982 Milwaukee Brewers _______________


10. Match these well-known figures of entertainment and politics with their sports backgrounds (2 points each):

_____ Actor John Wayne

_____ Actor Mark Harmon

_____ Actor Dean Cain

_____ Actor and Comedian Bob Hope

_____ President George W. Bush

_____ President Gerald Ford

_____ President Ronald Reagan

_____ Congressman J.C. Watts

_____ Senator Bill Bradley

_____ Senator Tom Osbourne

a. football lineman at Univ. of Michigan
b. coached Nebraska to 3 national football championships
c. cheerleader at Yale
d. football lineman at USC
e. defensive back at Princeton
f. All-American basketball player at Princeton, won NBA title with NY Knicks
g. professional boxer
h. quarterback at UCLA
i. radio sports announcer
j. quarterback at Univ. of Oklahoma


OK, that's it....how did you do? I'll post the answers if I get any correct responses in the comments....

How Smart are You?

Find out by taking Mike's brainteaser test. I got a nine, which should be good enough to beat Erbie.

The Trojans

Cheerleading, tumbling lessons and camps since age three: $30,000

Annual cost of attending USC: $ 50,000

Annual cost for staying just the right shade of blonde: $10,000

Cheering when the other team scores: Priceless

The Word from Rome

Thank you Diane for bringing this to my attention. John Allen, Rome correspondent for the National Catholic Reporter, interviewed Father Jenkins during his trip to the Vatican. Excerpts from the interview appear on NCR's website. Jenkins aired his concerns about polarization, "The trouble is that each side can see nothing legitimate in the position of the other. I hope that the university can help move us out of this ideological ghettoization, by fostering an actual conversation that's both open and guided by tradition. … My hope that we can do it is based on two points: 1) As Catholics, we have a very rich intellectual tradition, which is wide, not narrow; 2) We're not a sectarian religion. Like it or not, we're in this thing together, and we have to find a way to talk to each other. …" Some sober voices have been heard during the discussion thus far. May they be given a wider hearing.

Confess Here Often?

Read this and other Catholic pickup lines.

A Review of the Monologues

I recently heard an audio production of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, read by the author. The play is a menagerie of female voices talking very frankly about their vaginas. Most of the stories are tragic and represent the powerfully negative view some women have of their bodies. Many of the characters were mistreated or violently abused at the hands of men (and women). The voices provide an interesting insight into the thoughts and emotions of some women concerning their sexuality. Judging by the response the play evokes in its female audience, many women identify with the characters in the play. I imagine this gives them a sense of solidarity which can be empowering and lead to a positive self-image.

Some criticize The Monologues because of it‘s blunt and sometimes vulgar discussions of the female body. This does not bother me (with the exception of her more erotic monologues), but it bothers some. Christopher West, a catholic theologian, speaks of an error he calls “angelism.” It is the idea (in his words) of “spirit good, body bad.” Many well-meaning Catholics fall into this trap and consider candid talk of genitals (outside of the doctor’s office) taboo. But God created woman from head to vagina to toe, and the book of Genesis calls her “very good.” So when Ensler speaks of her “isty bitsy” she is speaking of something God created beautiful, something he created as good. Catholics should not shy away from such discussions, but should learn to appreciate (not lust after) the human body without shame. I will critique Ensler on this point: she is not shy about using profanity. Her crass and vulgar approach offers too little reverence for the beauty of the vagina.

The problem I find with the play is Ensler’s seeking to “liberate” women’s sexuality with an “anything goes as long as it feels good” philosophy. She casts masturbation, homosexual sex, extra-marital sex, prostitution and statutory rape in a positive light. Her view may satisfy for a time, because it provides a taste of the Love for which all human beings long, but this view always ends up disappointing.

Take the most controversial monologue, where a girl suffers a series of horrible experiences, including being raped at the age of nine by her father’s best friend. As a teenager she meets an attractive twenty-something woman who seduces her and has sex with her. The seductress is described as a sexual savior by the abused girl. Jackie Clark claims, “[The monologue’s] purpose is not to laud the experience, but to ask us to consider what kind of society we have created when such an appalling scenario is a woman's only positive sexual experience as a female.” While the tragedy of the situation is apparent, there is nothing in Ensler’s reading to suggest that statutory rape is a bad thing. In a morally legitimate setting the seductress would have been characterized as a predator not a hero. It seems in Ensler’s view, statutory rape and abusing a vulnerable, confused girl is acceptable as long as both parties feel good about it. The girl in the story ended up in and out of homeless shelters for the better part of her life. My concern is that women may initially find the message of play empowering, but it will end up leaving them empty.

Catholic communities, parishes, schools and universities should offer women a real alternative to the philosophy of The Vagina Monologues. We should encourage women to have a positive image of their bodies. We should work to uphold the dignity of women as created in the image and likeness of God. And most of all, we should strive to end all violence against women. The Church has the answers to these problems. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body is one example of a vast deposit of faith Catholics can tap to truly empower women. The girl in Ensler’s story did not need a sexual predator to redeem her “coochie snortcher.” She needed someone to love her completely and unconditionally; someone to love her through the hurt and the pain in her life. In short, she needed a Savior to redeem her. Only Jesus can do that, but we are His body.

"Based on a true story"...and the New Triviality

For those of you who read this blog (both of you) and think I might have been off-base on my evaluation of Glory Road, Bill Simmons (the Sports Guy) over at ESPN.com's Page 2 weighs in:

…..look at "Glory Road", which tackles one of the most important moments in sports history: Don Haskins' turning around Texas Western's hoops team by recruiting black players, then battling racism at every turn to eventually win the 1966 title with five black starters against an all-white Kentucky team. Call it Black Hoosiers. How can that miss? Impossible, right?

Not when Hollywood is involved. Apparently the phrase "based on a true story" means "We bought the rights to a true story so we could perform more surgery than the guys in 'Nip/Tuck'." …… Glory Road pretends to tell Texas Western's story, even using real names and games, only it embellishes almost everything. Like Haskins' winning a title in his first season, when it actually took five. Or Haskins' making a dramatic statement by starting five blacks against Kentucky, when he'd actually been doing that all season. Why not go all the way and turn the backup center into, say, a secret member of the KKK?

I know they were relying on the Remember the Titans playbook here: a dash of racism, a little R&B music, some feel-good moments, sports scenes that feel like MTV videos, a tough-but-lovable coach, a poignant ending. But why would you want to fictionalize a watershed sporting event? Imagine a Jackie Robinson movie in which Jackie joins the Dodgers in 1955 and wins the World Series over the Yankees with an inside-the-park homer in the seventh game.* Would that be remotely acceptable? So why did the makers of "Glory Road" think they could do what they did? Worse, after they made all that stuff up, how could they run the "Here's what happened to each guy" closing montage as if they'd just wrapped up a true story? Why not tell us "Don Haskins continued to coach Texas Western until 1995, when he was mauled to death by a cougar while trying to save a family trapped in a burning car"?

For whatever reason, Hollywood doesn't understand that the phrase "based on a true story" leads to certain expectations…..

* Robinson joined the Dodgers in 1948. The Dodgers lost to the Yankees in the World Series in 1949, 1952, and 1953 before sweepeing them in 4 games in 1955


I did find it interesting that Simmons, in noting his disappointment with "sports movies" of late, did not mention Cinderella Man, an excellent, enjoyable film that was curiously overlooked by the Oscar committee. Or maybe not so curiously overlooked, as it doesn't have an aggrieved constituency group to represent, like North Country (sexually-harassed women), Good Night, and Good Luck (CBS journalists in the fight against 'Republican scare tactics'), Brokeback Mountain (homosexuals), or TransAmerica (transsexuals). Nor did it mouth a moveon.org talking point like Syriana (it's a war for oil, etc.), Munich ("cycle of violence"), or The Constant Gardener (pharmaceutical companies are evil). Since the "Depression-Era Boxer" constituency group is (I imagine) rather thin, Cinderella Man is out of luck...

Film critic Jason Appuzzo calls this Hollywood trend "The New Triviality":

...If your film doesn't get us angry at Bush, Oscar just doesn't care. Why? Because we're now in the era of film as social activism, The New Triviality.

The Trivial film, you see, is merely an occasion for social activism or celebrity posturing. For example, on accepting a Golden Globe for his role in Syriana, George Clooney used the occasion to make an untoward crack about Jack Abramoff. A friend of mine angrily remarked that the comment had "nothing to do with the film" for which Clooney was being honored. I politely demured. "It has everything to do with the film," I said. Why?

Because Syriana, as its creators proudly admit, is really just a 'platform.' Just as Hollywood views films like Lord of the Rings as 'platforms' from which to sell merchandise, so too are films like Syriana or Good Night, and Good Luck or The Constant Gardener now viewed as 'platforms' from which to sell politics, to pontificate about the world we live in. After all, there really is no 'point' to a film like Syriana unless it's to enable a George Clooney to deliver political cheap shots on TV during awards season. He does it in the film, so why not on TV?

Of course, all of this Trivializes the cinema -- turning it from an art form into something much smaller, more polemical. That's why this year's Oscar nominees are truly films for the era of the iPod, with its 2-inch video screen. These new films make 'points' but constrict the imagination into something trite and pedantic - something with which we're supposed to be edified, rather than entertained...

...It is apparently no longer enough for audiences 'merely' to enjoy a film. Enjoyed Star Wars III or Harry Potter this year? Too bad. Together those films made $1.7 billion worldwide, but they didn't indict the global right-wing conspiracy of oil-homophobia-pharmaceuticals, so together they received only 2 Oscar nominations.

Meredith Blake of Participant Productions (the moveon.org of film companies) recently stated that her company had repeatedly turned down films that were "creatively fantastic but found to be socially falling short."

"Socially falling short"?

If you love the movies, these words should chill your spine. They indicate that movies are becoming smaller, more partisan, more ...Trivial.

Remember in the fall of 2004 after Bush won re-election? Those on the left said it was because they "didn't get their message out". (I guess Fahrenheit 9/11 was too subtle). Mission accomplished, Hollywood...

"So where's your condemnation of right-leaning movies?" you may ask. Fair question. Please name a couple of major or semi-major Hollywood releases in the last five or so years that could be fairly described as "right-leaning" and I will be happy to oblige...

V-Day

In previous posts, this blog considered the question of academic freedom and Catholic character at Notre Dame. I argued that a University can place restrictions on the events sponsored on campus without a significant loss of academic freedom. But, that a university should not restrict academic inquiry. Now I will turn to the question of the annual “V-Day” celebration which features a student production of Eve Ensler’s, The Vagina Monologues.

First, it must be noted that “V-day” is indeed an event. It is a world-wide celebration of the ideas and values presented by The Vagina Monologues. It is a rally promoting the brand of feminism proposed by Eve Ensler and her sponsors (which include Planned Parenthood and Feminist.com). “V-days” around the country have included celebrities leading throngs of women in chanting “cunt” as sort of a rallying cry. But, ultimately the event centers around the play. I do not know how this celebration has manifested itself at Notre Dame, but the former is certainly and intentionally linked to “V-day” events around the world, and through its sponsorship, so is the latter. The event does not seem to be characterized by academic inquiry or scholarly discussion of women’s issues. It is not a conference or a symposium. It is a celebration. As such, if indeed The Vagina Monologues runs contrary to ND’s Catholic character then the University is justified in curtailing it.

By restricting the event, the University is not censoring or eliminating academic inquiry into the ideas surrounding the play. Students are free to read it. Professors are free to assign it as required reading. Students may gather in informal groups to study and discuss its content. The Observer reports St. Mary’s students have gathered in dorm lounges for unofficial performances of the play. These gatherings, as long as they are respectful of other dorm residents, should be allowed. The University could sponsor a conference (as long as the Catholic position were represented) to address the issues raised by the play. There are numerous avenues to inquire after The Vagina Monologues without sponsoring a “V-day” event. If the faculty and students who promote “V-day” were only interested in academic inquiry, then why are they not satisfied with Father Jenkins’ allowing the play to be performed in a classroom setting? It is because they want to celebrate it.

I recently heard a recording of The Vagina Monologues read by the author. Some of its content is good, but some of it is very problematic and contrary to the teachings of the Church. I will save that discussion for part four of this series.

Social Security

My friend Jessica sent me this report from ZENIT. Apparently, the zero-population growth movement has succeeded. It seems Russia, Japan, Bulgaria, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Greece are facing declining populations. Russia’s shrinking workforce is expected to cost its economy $400 billion over the next 20 years. The world population is also aging. ZENIT reports, “By 2050 there will be an average of more than seven older, inactive people supported by just 10 active workers in developed economies, compared with a ratio of four to 10 in 2000.” No matter how you slice it, this does not bode well for government and private retirement plans. Perhaps having lots of kids (who would be willing to support you in your elder years) is your safest bet for social security. Those of us without kids will have to trust in the Lord (also a safe bet).