Tom and Jerry: Defenders of All Things Right and Good

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Little Known Facts About Barack Obama

Since I alerted you, dear readers, to some little known facts about Sarah Palin, I thought that in the interest of fairness, I should offer some equally interesting little known facts about Barack Obama:

> Obama can calculate your guilt just by looking at the numbers in your checkbook.

> Obama's famous stare once converted 15 Islamic fundamentalists into secular progressives, all of whom are currently employed by Countrywide Home Loans.

> Our universe is held together by the force of Michelle Obama's benevolent willpower, but her patience is running thin.

> US Mail Service published Obama's resume on a new first class stamp.

> Obama can inflate a hot air balloon in one blow. He does it for the children.

> Any sentence containing the name "Obama" and ending in a question mark has been determined to be racist. The only exceptions are rhetorical sentences such as "Is there any way that Obama could be more perfect?"

> In Portland, Oregon, Obama fed a multitude of 75 thousand with five government subsidy forms and two rolls of red tape.

> When the people learn to vote themselves money from the public trough, Obama will appear.

> Obama once had a chance to save 10% on car insurance by switching to Geico, but he said "no" because that would mean a sellout to corporate interests.

> Obama cast the first, and only, stone.

Don't let it be said that I'm not bipartisan.


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