Jerry's Wedding, Part III

The Pre-Wedding Itenerary

Wednesday, April 11

Evening: I have long thought that if I were ever to marry, surely it would be a sign that the world is coming to an end - like sun exploding or the Cubs winning a World Series.

I fly to El Paso from Dallas. The world braces for the impending Apocalypse.


Thursday, April 12

Morning: I wake up at Lynda's uncle's house, where she and I usually stay when we visit El Paso. Lynda, a morning person, will wake me at 8am with a cheery "The sun is shining, the birds are singing!". I, definitely not a morning person, will reply "Shut the blinds, shoot the birds..." and try to bargain for a few minutes more of sleep.

Noon: Tom, co-writer of this blog and my best man, arrives in El Paso.

Afternoon: Most of the guests comprising my "side" of the wedding arrive. All groomsmen must pick up their tuxes at Mens’ Warehouse before 7pm. There is one within a couple of blocks of the hotel. I decided to incorporate some Southwestern flair into the wedding, so I chose tuxes that will have myself and the groomsmen looking like Doc Holliday. To augment this theme, we will also wear bolo ties and boots.

7pm: Meet at hotel for caravan to bachelor party dinner, to be held at Cattleman’s Ranch east of El Paso. I thought that if we got everyone in town, then had all the men take off, leaving the women to deal with all the kids, that some of the women would be none too thrilled. Therefore, males of all ages are invited.

10ish - Any guys (or gals) that want to hit a local watering hole (sans kids) for a tequila or two….

Friday, April 13

1pm: Boot shopping. Tony Lamas has an outlet store near the hotel, and another on the eastern side of town (about 15 minutes away) next to a Justin boot outlet. Hopefully, the Blackjack outlet will be open by then (scheduled for April, but I don’t know the date).

5:30 pm: Wedding rehearsal. All involved will be at St. Luke’s Catholic Church (about 5 minutes from the hotel) for rehearsal.

7 pm: Rehearsal dinner at State Line Barbeque on the border of Texas and New Mexico (about 5-10 minutes away from hotel). All-you-can-shove-down ribs, brisket, and sausage (along with veggies, bread, and other wastes-of-stomach-space).

Saturday, April 14

Morning: The blessed day/end of the world has arrived! I will try to eat some breakfast, and then put on 12 pairs of socks, ensuring that I don't get "cold feet".

1:00pm: I arrive at St. Luke's church. I will begin to distribute helmets and food rations in case the apocalypse begins at any time during the wedding mass. Better safe than sorry, ya know...

1:30pm: Here we go....

(To be continued...)