Tom and Jerry: Defenders of All Things Right and Good

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Sharks with frickin' laser beams...

Ran across this while web surfing: They've begun casting for Jurassic Park IV. Laura Dern will reprise her role from the first film, though Sam Neill will not be around. As for story details, I'll let Erik Davis of fill you in:

And the plot? The "plot!" Brace yourselves folks, because this one might sting a bit. Here, I'll let BD ( break the news: "We're told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes."

Um, wow. So are they trying to say that a Velociraptor isn't dangerous enough on its own -- that the thing needs to carry a missile launcher too?! I understand the need to up the ante a bit (because the whole "Oh no, we're lost in a jungle full of dinosaurs" gig has kind of run its course), but do they really think that giving a Tyrannosaurus rex a machine gun ... I can't even complete the sentence without wanting to hit something. Holy crap is this premise absurd. Let me guess: At first, the dinosaurs are kicking some terrorist ass ... until -- oh no! -- they turned on everyone, and pointed their weapons at us! Damn it, I knew we shouldn't have given that Dilophosaurus a grenade launcher.....

To witness the creative genius of Hollywood at work....."Um, wow." really sums it up, doesn't it? I can see it now: Ms. Dern's character looking on with horror, gasping "Look, I told you this would happen....they're evolving - they've learned how to reload!"


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